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CHB Mail - 2021-06-10

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I’ve put a lot of time into wasting time – it’s paid off

ENTERTAINMENT EXTRA

— Adam Green

” rocrastination. Pro. Cras. Ti. Nation. Proooookay, I’m procrastinating writing this here. Because if there’s one thing in life that I have taken the black belt for, it’s putting things off until there’s no other option but to get them done in an incredible, last-minute rush. I’m not sure where it started, but I know for certain I was working my way towards being a top-tier procrastinator by high school. I can distinctly remember a time when we were given a small tub of locusts to take home and do a long-term science project with. I promptly took them to my room, put them in an old fish tank and proceeded to do the absolute bare minimum of feeding them for the six weeks of project time. When the last weekend arrived before hand-in time, I hastily cut up some coloured squares of paper, placed them on the bottom and fudged the data in my very scientific “Are locusts attracted to different colours and why” project. And managed a B. Maybe that’s when I realised that if you can procrastinate and still get an average result in the end, this puttingoff-important-things-until-the last-minute gig isn’t so bad. But as I get older, and seemingly more responsible, I’m trying to look towards being less a procrastinator and more a “get it done as quickly as possible at the start of your downtime so you can do nothing with no jobs hanging over your head” kind of guy. So how exactly does one stop this time-draining habit of a lifetime? I thought about googling it, but then I went to the fridge, the cupboard, the fridge, lowered my standards, went back to the cupboard, lowered them further, and went back to the fridge. Then it was time to go pick the kids up. I thought back over the years to the motivational speakers I’d seen. “If it can be done in five minutes, then get it done now,” said one. I scoured the house for fiveminute jobs, “washing will probably take seven, that can wait. Changing the sheets? At least 10. Lunch dishes? Probably five and a half, and that oven won’t be clean in anything less than an hour”. Guess there was nothing to do. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve only got 36 minutes to do everything I need to get done today before I pick up the kids.

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